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In my imagination, I see my self-identified
self - the expression or personality I think of as “me,” what Ken Wilber
calls the proximal “I” – as a piece of iron, warm fuzzy iron that you want to
pet like a kitty, but iron just the same, that floats in a vacuum chamber
filled with magnetic disks. Each image has its own magnet and each mask as
well. All my distortions and shadow impulses have their representative disk.
Likewise, my authentic qualities, my current consciousness and the
ever-present call of my higher self are connected to their own magnetic
disks. Each
magnet exerts a pull on my little iron “I”. My iron core is invisibly tugged
toward this disk or that one. One moment an image will exert a higher pull
and my iron bubble is inexorably drawn toward it. The next moment a higher
self thought will grab my attention through its pull on my iron “I”.
Sometimes the pull of one disk becomes so great that I attach to it and my
core self-identity, well, identifies. In that moment the “I” that is
projected into the world has changed to reflect the ideas, values, beliefs
and conclusions of the disk I am currently stuck to. I will express myself
through that magnetic disk until another pulls strongly enough to yank me
from the field influenced by the first. Only the application of higher levels
of consciousness, the development of the witness self, allows me to perceive
these shifts. Remember, consciousness has its own disk and exerts its own
pull and when that pull becomes great enough, I begin to become aware of
other influences and impulses - the forces generated by the rest of the
magnetic disks in the vacuum chamber of my soul. Both images and our mask can
produce tremendous force in their mindless quest to claim your inner egoic
iron treasure. |
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Until we’re ready to sacrifice the
seemingly safer experience of living behind our masks, which is the work of a
lifetime, we can chance to peek out from around it for longer and longer
moments of authentic self-expression. This is not to say that there is no
place in our lives for learned behavior and appropriate social roles.
Authentic living is not a regression to self-justified chaotic or childish
behavior. We have the intelligence to judge when and where our deeper shadow
impulses can be listened to, can be compassionately embraced or can be let
out to play. For instance, our work place, sitting in front of the judge in
traffic court, isle five of the supermarket (the rest of the isles are okay,
but isle five takes itself very seriously…), may not be the best forum for
yelling out loud too much deep, inner honesty. It is never necessary to
invite harm to ourselves needlessly, where it serves no greater good. |
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The important point to realize is that we
have a choice, moment to moment and that in having options we dispel our
shadow’s power to pull us out of the present. We recognize its playful or
painful persistent nudging. Like a parent on the phone whose child is tugging
at her pant leg, we can gently, lovingly say “Not now
honey. I need to stay present. I promise I won’t forget you, deny you, stuff
you or kiss you in public. You can have my full attention in a little bit.”
The shadow then becomes a tool instead of a tyrant. Our social roles and
learned behaviors become choices, where previously they were unconscious
behaviors or triggers for images or for our mask self. There are times when
it’s fully appropriate, for example, to be more loving than we really feel.
Yet to be so is a choice not a compulsion when awareness is maintained, when
we do not deny our deeper feelings, and when we gently avoid the pull of
self-identifying with either mask or images. |
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Awareness
of the influence that our images and our mask exert upon our thoughts,
feelings and behavior is the first step toward becoming more and more
powerful, loving and serene without the distortion and false protection of
our mask. The Venetian costume ball may be fun for awhile, only to grow dull
and superficial as more and more of our soul longs for the connection,
relationship, expansion and joy that is the birthright of our humanity,
spelled d-i-v-i-n-i-t-y. With love and aloha, Holman |
