|
Aloha
and Good Morning To All, How can one gaze into the darkness of her
soul and discover love for the shadowy beasts lurking there? To hate is to
become that which is hated. Perhaps more to the point, that which we hate in
ourselves becomes that which we project on the opposite side of our
self/not-self boundary. And yet the projected portion of our soul is no less
a part for being so wholly rejected. Alas, this pointless projection only
mutates our rejected soul members into militia-men and boundary lines become
battle lines. In the darkness we fear and cringe, we
fight and flee, we judge and find wanting. We condemn and criticize and when
in the end we turn away hardened and rejecting does not the divine within us
cry out in anguish a lament that falls upon ears toughened by our inability
to countenance our wholeness, to accept our fallibility and flaws? How can one gaze into the darkness of his
soul and discover love for the shadowy beasts lurking there? What if the beast roars only as loudly as
is written in the script, the unconscious, unthinking set of labels that
“demonify” them? |
|
I
wonder, whence cometh the shadow? In determined delight, an effervescent
necessity of differentiation from the divine, we drank the amniotic fluid of
birth and burst into duality. In that
glorious, yet divisive moment, our wholeness became part-ness. Drawing a
gossamer veil of forgetfulness about the bubble expressing our soul, we began
our journey at the bottommost rung of awareness: unconscious to everything
save a universal potential. Welcome to the humblest beginning, the common
starting place from which arises all, the slow awakening of a child’s growing
mind. The evolution of consciousness comprises
conquering the compounding awareness’s that separate us from reunion with our
Original Face. These transitional, transcending insights surround the
breaking down of dualistic boundaries in our journey from matter to body to
mind to soul to spirit. The realization that ‘I am not my body,’ begins the
journey of ‘transcending and including’ insights. ‘I am not my emotions, neither am I my
thoughts’ forms the next great leap in growing levels of consciousness.
Furthermore, the evolution of consciousness comes from reclaiming all of our
soul pieces, the copies of consciousness which we have denied, disclaimed,
rejected and hastily thrust away from our awareness. Our shadow selves are born in the bitter
moment we discover that freely expressing some parts of our being brings pain
and reprisal. To avoid pain, we take the offending part and redraw it outside
the boundary line of our self. Our slide into socialization reinforces these
artificial boundaries, further separating who we are from ourselves. Eventually we come to believe quite
vehemently that the half-self we claim is real; while all else is merely a
reflection of another’s uncivilized behavior or body, but certainly no part
of our own. We accept the lie and hope
the oft telling will make it so. Alas, lies express a vibration that further
separates us from the energy of divinity and further frustrates our efforts
to learn to do things differently and better. What would happen if I shine the lamp of
acceptance into the darkness, the hidden corners and the creepy, basement
bottomland where the beasts have been banished? Can I embrace my fear, my
insecurity, my body-image issues? Perhaps
not stone cold sober! But maybe if I sip from the cup of meditation I might
transcend my inner resistance. |
|
Regular
meditation super-charges soul growth.
Ken Wilber teaches that if one meditates, by getting in touch with
casual consciousness and sitting witness to the deep sea of formlessness from
which arise thoughts and emotions, that the soul can leap forward two levels,
or fulcrums of consciousness within four years. The average person settles
into a certain level of consciousness in their early twenties and stays there
for the rest of their life. They may develop along horizontal lines by
increasing abilities in separate and specific areas like communication,
mathematics, music, morals, spirituality or relationship dynamics, but the
overall center of soul-gravity remains within their current level of
consciousness. Meditation blows the lid off our
limitations. Meditation brings us into the silent void and teaches us to be
conscious there. Mediation brings us to a place without attachment to the
shadows. Mediation brings us to a place of perfect acceptance, for there are
parts of our soul that are perfectly accepting all ready. Mediation is the
doorway to the highest levels of consciousness and clarity. |
|
Can
one gaze into the darkness of her soul and discover love for the shadowy
beasts lurking there? Yes! I know many of you meditate regularly. Many of you
know intimately how it feels to be centered in stillness and non-attachment.
From that perspective you know how to simply witness one’s emotions and
thoughts as they arise from the void and as they sink unremarked back into
formlessness. If we can witness our thoughts and emotions within meditation,
without getting hooked into them or distracted by their brightness, then can
we not also witness our shadow parts and know that we are not that – and yet
these shadows are a part of us and then be okay with that? I think so. |
|
If you gaze long enough into an abyss, the abyss will gaze back into you.
Friedrich Nietzsche |
|
I
believe meditation creates a space where we can be simply accepting and
unconditionally loving of our wholeness, transcending and including our
part-ness. The twin sister of meditation is a soul-dialoging technique called
Dream Yoga. I’ll speak of it later. Now is the time to dance in the darkness,
to laugh with our fears and whisper sweet-nothings to our insecurities. Now
is the time to embrace our wholeness and cry out joyfully: “I feel you! I
hear you! I embrace you! I accept you! I am you! I am you and I’m okay.” (I’m good enough, I’m smart enough and
dog-gone-it people like me! Stuart
Smalley) The well-spring of equanimity is a cup best
drunk deep and often and the lip of the well lies next to the pillow of our
meditation places. With love and aloha, Holman |
